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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he admits. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often succeeded by a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his conduct, rendering him highly sensitive to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have NPD after investigating his behaviors through digital sources – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment without having independently formed that understanding by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for decades, definitions vary what the term implies the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, because of so much stigma around the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with the condition are men, research suggests this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Even with this behavior – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples as a child. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were criticizing me in my early years.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be associated with early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is always a good thing,” he comments. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number